lesbotronic

Gossiping: Do Lesbians Need to STFU More Than Most?

Gossiping: Do Lesbians Need to STFU More Than Most?   68 members have voted

  1. 1. Gossiping: Do Lesbians Need to STFU More Than Most?

    • Way too many lesbians have way too loose lips, more than other demographics. They should effing put a cork in it. It's like a plague upon us ALL!
      2
    • The queer community in any town is smaller than the straight community. Smaller communities deal with more gossip. But that's all it is.
      21
    • Lesbians are women, and women gossip more than men. But they don't gossip more than other women.
      13
    • All humans gossip. Lesbians are human, ergo, they gossip. But not more than everyone else. Those newbies must just have had a bad time of it lately, but there's no more meaning there.
      32

Please sign in or register to vote in this poll.

A biggish bunch of the newbies signing up lately have been specifying that they do NOT want to meet anyone who might gossip about them.

No backstabbers either! (We'll go ahead and assume they meant that figuratively, not literally.) No trash talkers! No one that can't keep some secrets!

We're certainly not suggesting that unbridled gossip mongering got everybody's stamp of approval before. Nope. However, the percentage of newbies specifying a very particular disapproval of gossiping in Super Duper Emphatic Ways seems trending upward.

Which caused us to wonder . . . ARE lesbians more likely to gossip than other demographic groups?

Yup, we know, difficult/impossible to answer definitively. But what would you imagine, if you had to take a stab at it?

BONUS QUESTION: For anyone that answers that lesbians DO have looser lips, could you let us know WHY you think that is so and WHY that you think this has occurred by posting about that? Inquiring minds want to know. Thanks!

Share this post


Link to post

I honestly do not believe lesbians as a group gossip any more than other groups. Anyone who has worked in an office, garage, ship, or any other type of grouping can attest to the entertainment value of human nature regarding gossip. On the rare occasions that I actually had to be present in such environments, I would deliberately start a rumor just to see how distorted from the original it would get and to see just how fast it took to get back to me.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post

I agree that lesbians don't seem to gossip more than other women. I never did like gossip myself.

Forgive me if this sounds off, but I wonder if there is a correlation between the amount of estrogen a woman has and gossip. It has seemed to me the more feminine the woman, lesbian or straight, the more she talks or gossips. I'm not saying that is always the case, just an observation. I could be wrong in this because most all the lesbians I have met are more feminine. I haven't been around near as many more masculine like me.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post

Quote
Forgive me if this sounds off, but I wonder if there is a correlation between the amount of estrogen a woman has and gossip. It has seemed to me the more feminine the woman, lesbian or straight, the more she talks or gossips.

Huh. That's an interesting idea. But offhand, I just dunno.

I've known a heck of a lot of lesbians, across the butch/femme masculine/feminine spectrum, then back again. But I'd have to say that most of those I've hung out with on anything approaching a regular basis haven't gossiped that much, except if they'd recently gone through a difficult breakup with someone or had some sort of really bad dating experience otherwise, then they gossiped about that person a LOT. But otherwise, not so much.

I'd guess my life experiences have been pretty different from the aforementioned newbies signing up. Can't say exactly why that's so though, because clearly there are lesbians out there who are experiencing other lesbians as gossipy. Majority? Minority? Still not clear.

What does everyone else reading this think? I see from the stats that lots more have read this than commented or voted. Let's have some more opinions. Hello? Anyone? Bueller? :)

Share this post


Link to post

Men and woman gossip and I don't believe that there is a person who hasn't gossiped at least once, no matter how much they dislike gossip. In high school I hung out with more guys than girls and the guys gossip just as much, just in a different way. With women it seems to be more "Shhhh don't tell anyone but I just heard..." and guys say loud enough for everyone around to hear "Dude did you hear about..."

There may be some reasons why some who sign up for this site may think that gossip is rampant among lesbians, and the other myriad of woman on here. 1. They may just be out of high school and there it seemed like everyone gossiped. 2. If they have friends that love to gossip they may think that all woman are like that. 3. If they aren't out to everyone, they just want to make sure that no one will find out before they want them to, especially if they start talking to someone who is out to everyone.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post

I don't believe lesbians gossip any more than anyone else.

In a small community, the straight people are more inclined to gossip than lesbians, because a load of the straight people are watching every move a lesbian group make, can't wait to tell their straight mates who they saw out to dinner, in the local pub, walking hand in hand......and so on.

I don't think lesbian groups gossip any more than anyone else 

Share this post


Link to post

What's the quality that makes gossip ! "Gossip" ! and different from just talkin' about other people. Like... if my GF asks me, "hey what happened at work today?" and I tell her about So-and-so did This and Who-dee-who said That. Is that gossiping? Or does it all just depend on what the This and That is, or what my relationship is to So-and-so and Who-dee-who?

Is it all gossip the Newbies didn't like, or just the 'bad' gossip? What if I wanted to gossip about what an excellent lover my my GF is (not that she is one of the newbies - I HOPE!) you think anyone minds that?

Share this post


Link to post

i wantedto vote for the last 3 choices lol...i reckon it depends on where you are and things like that. women are very dramatic. when they start havin sex, lorrrd, you better wear your boots cause the shit gets deep 

Share this post


Link to post

I have learned a few things in my very short time here-

1. there are no such things as secrets.

2.people vent, yes it hurts when it comes back to you (because it does) but the reason why you don't get to hear the news first is maybe your partner didn't want to hurt you and thought that by confiding in another might refresh the situation.

Believe it or not, your partner is not out to get you. They are just trying to vent, and sometimes the venting when passed down the lines of loose lipped individuals ends up blown way out of proportion!

Rule # 1 in relationships: Approach situations with the mind set: No ill intent (It reduces a lot of unneeded arguments)

Share this post


Link to post

I live in a small ex-pat community now and previously I lived in a city with a small lesbian/gay community. The amount of gossip, that comes back to you depends on how many people you associate with daily or weekly. If you don't know anyone or you have a fairly large group of friends, you might not even know you're being gossiped about.

Personally I don't care what and how much I'm being talked about. To me, it only means that people have noticed I exist.

Share this post


Link to post

Gossip comes as naturally as eating. Show me someone who doesn't gossip, and I'll show you one who is not interested in people 

Share this post


Link to post

From a functionalist sociological viewpoint, gossip helps with group cohesion. Everyone does it. It's strange that everyone seems to think women gossip more than men, this has not been my experience. My dad and his work buddies and other friends gossip a lot more than I seem to.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post

STFU just STFU!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post

Quote
STFU just STFU!

Soooo . . . are we to understand that you would (or did) vote for the first poll option?

Care to elaborate a bit on why?

Share this post


Link to post

I agreed with all of the statements concerning gossip,it's just as a general rule I think everyone should STFU. 

Share this post


Link to post

i'll admit gossip can be intriguing, but only when it is not about you, as soon as the tables turn and it's about you....then everyone needs to STFU

Share this post


Link to post

And yes to STFU, including me! No matter where you are, your local lesbian community is a small, incestuous population. You may not know everyone, but the the 20 or so women that know you, probably know someone that has slept with any given local lesbian.. The degrees of seperation are on the order of 1-2. Just sayin...

Share this post


Link to post

There's actually a serious, scientific research that says men are more prone to talking too much and gossiping, than women.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post

Im not ashamed to admit that i do gossiping too, but not that much, only on situations that i am involved in.

Share this post


Link to post

I don't know that as lesbians we gossip more, but I can see how as a lesbian of certain states (as there are so many people unwilling to accept us) would be more fearful of being gossiped about, or perhaps they haven't come out and are waiting to do it right (the way want). ...which makes me wonder... Are you serious about who you are? What are you afraid of?

People talk. I talk about what's going on in my life, I have the right and sometimes, if I don't talk about what's going on, I feel like I could go insane. If I went on a date with a woman I adored I'd be bursting.

It is an odd request to post though....perhaps the gossip issue should be brought up on a date, as that's person one would want the confidentiality from.

I, for one, wouldn't deny some one the right to talk about what's going on with them. If I were scared of people finding out, I feel I would not be ready to date in this manner.

As for me, my family's known I'm lesbian since I was a child - and I didn't have to tell anyone... can't help who you are. Woman are beautiful to me and I guess it's obvious. LoL

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post

Alana:

I've noticed that! LoL What's funny is they gossip about hating gossip even. *smh* Silly creatures. LoL

Share this post


Link to post

i really do not think so

Share this post


Link to post

FIRS OF ALL WE ARE ALL PEOPLE ! and people can be different as you might already know  straight men can gossip much more than straight women and so on.. so my opinion is, it just really depends on person and not her/his sexual orientation!

P. S . yap, i like purple

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post

On March 17, 2010 at 0:01 PM, lesbotronic said:

Huh. That's an interesting idea. But offhand, I just dunno.

I've known a heck of a lot of lesbians, across the butch/femme masculine/feminine spectrum, then back again. But I'd have to say that most of those I've hung out with on anything approaching a regular basis haven't gossiped that much, except if they'd recently gone through a difficult breakup with someone or had some sort of really bad dating experience otherwise, then they gossiped about that person a LOT. But otherwise, not so much.

I'd guess my life experiences have been pretty different from the aforementioned newbies signing up. Can't say exactly why that's so though, because clearly there are lesbians out there who are experiencing other lesbians as gossipy. Majority? Minority? Still not clear.

What does everyone else reading this think? I see from the stats that lots more have read this than commented or voted. Let's have some more opinions. Hello? Anyone? Bueller? :)

I think the person who said that women who have just gotten out of a relationship tend to "share" because they may be looking for help trying to understand why their relationship did not work or what they might have been able to do to help that relationship.

I have a very nosey neighbor who gossips all the time and it is very unattractive.

Share this post


Link to post

Let's face it.  Women can be vindictive bitches and will verbally  massacre  another person's life if the situation  calls for it.  That said not all women gossip,  and isn't gossip  usually defined as unconfirmed rumors being spread? By that definition  it's not gossip if it's truth.  

Now that I've said my two cents  there. I understand  what newbies are worried about.  They worry about being "outed" by a lover as many are still very much "in" the metaphorical closet.  That or their positions at work could be put in jeopardy  if they aren't discreet about their activities  even if they are "out". 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now