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Depression

I have been depressed 3 times in my life. I am 48. It runs in my family. I don't have any other mental problems however who would take a chance and get to know me. I have to take an antidepressant for the rest of my life. I am attractive and have a good personality. I just keep telling myself that I will never find someone because of my disability. Does anyone have a suggestion? 

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Fear not, for thou art not alone. According to a set of stats from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration, one in four people have a diagnosable mental illness. It is a government stat, take it for what it is. There are plenty of folks who have something in their life that requires managing. Diabetes, depression, the urge to throttle idiotic coworkers, etc. Just because someone has a diagnosis does not mean that the diagnosis defines the person. It is only one aspect out of many that make up a person. Negative self talk is one of the biggest factors that contribute to feelings of alienation, further depression and a host of others. I, too, have depression and take steps to manage it so that it does not become the defining experience of my life. We love who we love, warts and all because we accept that we are human and therefore not perfect. Let's face it, how many of us look our best when something or someone wakes us up four hours early? I hope this helps.

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ashleigh, that's very nice to hear. I've had the depression for 8 years and I don't think I'll ever be able to live without taking anti-depressants and ansiolitics. I often wonder if I'll ever find someone who'll accept me and my condition, since some times not even I can stand myself. lol

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Depression is something that I have lived with for quite some time. Even encountered a therapist who believes my depression is a result of living with gender identity dysphoria. Though it sounds plausible, I do not completely buy into it. Personally, there are other contributing factors to it, but that is just me. It strikes me as both amusing and sad because I do not know if I fit into the category of drama or crazy. If so, then the feeling is that the dating pool is significantly smaller than hoped for. Terms like drama and crazy are fuzzy terms. Nobody ever defines them, but seems to think that everyone else is on the same page as they are in regards to meaning.

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There are women who are compassionate and understanding enough to be with a woman with any sort of disability.  I know they are out there because I am one of them.

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Your not alone. I have depression on and off and I do worry about the same thing.  But someone caring won't care and love you for you 

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I don't see depression as a barrier to a good relationship if people understand each other, maybe because I myself have had depression and have to take pills every day to prevent another relapse. In fact, I'd be even more interested in a person, say on a first-second-third date if they were open about their story, maybe because I can relate to it. 

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eI've had problems with depression for years...it all started when my first girlfriend committed suicide. I was in the closet, still in middle school scared and deeply involved with a church organization. I grew to hate myself for not knowing how badly she was feeling, if there was anything I could've done...for not admitting that she and I were romantically involved. My dad divorced my mom the same year she passed. He was our sole caregiver, while my mom was the actual breadwinner...(she still works at the same hospital she did back then.) I had to grow up early, and I sacrificed a lot caring for my two little brothers. My dad wasn't just my dad he was my best friend. He taught me how to draw, paint and express myself through music...and when he left, even after all the awards I won, I just wasn't feeling it. I felt like the muse to paint was gone. He died last year due to a leak in an artificial heart valve. He was waiting on a transplant....still going through that now, the grief. We weren't on good terms, you see. *lights cigarette* He last told me to "get my faggot ass out of his house."...I felt like I was never good enough in his eyes...all the work and love I put into painting..it feels so empty to me now. I'm constantly working now as a restaurant manager---and being a person with severe social anxiety and of course depression, it is a very stressful, almost hellish environment. I'm constantly chewed up verbally only to be spat back out and ordered to clean my mess up...It's hard trying to make ends meet while supporting a crazy family like mine. My mom is one of the only things keeping me going right now...I'm helping her pay off my dad's debt so I can finally finish school and try to be happy. It gets so hard sometimes I can barely get out of bed in the morning. There ya go, moosey sad the end.

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