illuminosity

Ever have the feeling that you'll spend the rest of your life alone?

34 posts in this topic

I've been single for almost 7 years now. Even though my general area has the rep of being a "gay mecca", I have not found this to be the case. Perhaps my age puts me out of the dating pool here (I'm 56)? The women I have met are either dealing with drug issues, children, or or otherwise not acceptable. I like my own company and am comfortable in my skin. I'm not willing to compromise my core values just be in a relationship. I do wish I could find someone for at least casual dating (no, I do NOT mean a sexual hook-up). But when the last person I met PROUDLY announced that she's never read a single book, I more or less gave up. This is not worth it. Militant ignorance, indeed!

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There's a high chance that I will. Sometimes I feel like I should give up actively trying to find someone, and work on accepting being single instead. Find more penpals and platonic friends. It's so hard to meet other women! I feel like I never run into anyone I'm interested in IRL. As for online, I hate this "swipe left/right" era we're in. Tinder and it's ilk are just utter garbage for finding a real connection and not great for finding a hookup. This site is pretty quiet and a recent update turned OkCupid from decent to a Tinder clone. I don't know of any active sites for long-form personal-ad type dating profiles anymore. All the apps are too GPS and photo oriented. I don't have time for connections on a shallow level based on a few selfies. I don't feel like it's very likely the woman for me is geographically near enough that a GPS-based app would do us much good.

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Sometime it's okay that it takes a while to find someone special

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I'm married, and while we are best friends, I'm content at most and still feel alone. It's hard to find gay friends in St Louis. We have the Grove, but I'm older (47) and the bar scene isn't for me.

I working hard on being okay with just me, but I need people.

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I'm single right now. I'm simply going to do my own thing until I meet the right girl. I try not to think about it too much. If I end up finding her, I'm sure I'll know. :)

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I am currently in a relationship and sometimes wonder if I would be happier alone. Don't get me wrong I enjoy the company sometimes however the older I get the less I want someone else in my space ALL the time. Sex is another thing altogether and I can see how that could be challenging to go without!! I would not be too happy without sex in my life LOL. Yet in my experience these are two different things and you do not need one to have the other. With that being said I have not slept with a woman for a few years, as that was the agreement my male partner and I had all the way up until last month, and now looking for a woman to even go grab a coffee or a beer with is pretty challenging. Strange I have never found it challenging before.

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I too have been alone for over 3 years now. Had a couple of wonderful furry bodies to give me love until this past year. Now...winter is always lonely for me. I read, watch football and hope for the spring thaw. Work keeps my mind somewhat active. I wouldn't be adverse to sharing a meal and conversation with another like minded woman.  It is good for all of us to connect with ourselves once again. Having someone around gives us a sense of comfort but also enables us to lean on them when maybe we should be searching for our own answers to challenges. Nothing builds up your self esteem like finding an answer!  New to this site. Just wanted to post some thoughts. Thanks for bearing with me. 

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Yes, I do. I'm awful in social situations, esp. out of my comfort zones. Any and all types of relationships I've had have been work related. Mandatory time together where given some time people realize I'm actually alright. I moved farther from work and friends a few yr ago and now I'm planning my early retirement. I'm so excited about quitting, but also freaked out about never meeting any new friends , let alone meeting someone for an actual relationship. 

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I wish I had a crystal ball to look into the future. I fear that I may be alone as well. I've heard people say - just wait the right one will come along when it's right. And then other say - if you are waiting for someone to come knocking on your door, you'll wait forever; get out there and look. Still others say - if you keep looking so hard, you'll never find. I'm so confused I don't know what to do. I'm not a "bar" type person so I'm not going to meet anyone that way; and my gaydar is not the best in the world. 

The hard part is that I'm not a person that likes to be alone. I don't want to just jump into a living relationship with someone right away, but I do want to eventually end up that way if we are compatible.

I see a quite a few lesbian women (I think--as I said, my gaydar is not the best) in supermarkets and such, but how do you approach? How do you flirt? Sometimes it's hard enough just getting them to acknowledge you. I can't just walk up and say "hey, I'm a lesbian too, how about we hook up for coffee sometime". 

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