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Moms Reaction To "dykey" Haircut

ok...so, storytime...but its not a story...its true...

it all started in first grade...the night before school pictures...at around 11 pm...i gave myself the "best haircut ever". aside from being piecey and choppy and not at all even....it was a dream cut!

apparently no one else agreed.

my mom bawled and bawled and bawled...

she said i couldnt go to school like that...so we made an emergency appt at the hairdresser.

he could not salvage it at all...and much to my delight...i left with a really nice crew cut

mom was pissed

she said, "we cant say you have cancer...omg...theyll all think youre a boy...or...gulp...sob...a dyke!"

i didnt know what a dyke was, but i liked that she thought i could be mistaken for a boy.

and i didnt have to worry about tangles, or hair in face while playing soccer, and it didnt snag in the woods or blow in the tree tops

but school soon dampened my delight....

even the boys...with whom i had been best buds...laughed at me.

no one wanted anything to do with me

the older kids teased me relentlessly...and the 16 year old neighbor boy...he decided to "teach me a lesson"

so i grew my hair out...

and became a "girl"...though never a "girlie girl"

and i gave up soccer...and climbing trees....and stayed in at recess reading trixie belden and anne of green gables

i ate my lunch in the bathroom...locked in a stall...if i even ate

i wore my hair in my face...cousin itt style...and stopped raising my hand to answer questions in class

i wanted to efface myself...i became a non-entity...i disappeared

and i purchased a "tummy control" thing and used it around my chest...instead of the bras my mom kept purchasing

and i stopped eating...had nightmares about sucking on a jolly rancher...and woke up panicking...and proceeded to exercise till morning

by accident i learned how to induce vomitting...and did it regularly...every time i drank water

i saved my lunch money and spent it on laxatives, diet teas, and ipicac...

i could stop using the chest control...as i starved away anything that had been there...up until i was 18 i had no need for bras...just an undershirt...or when my mom had anything to do with it...a bra stuffed with socks...

happy ending!

yesterday i liberated myself...and got a pixie cut!

byebye sad little bun...hello my real self

it was kinda awkward...the first hairdresser wouldnt go short enough...she actually refused

but lucky for me...a sympathetic and younger hardresser....took over.

well she was nice and all...but really how do you tell a stranger "i want to look like rachel maddow"?

she started cutting...i think she should give up hair styling...even though shes EXCELLENT! ...and dabble in mind reading...its not as short as i wanted it...but its great...and i can even hawk it if i so desire!

finally...my outside reflects my inside...even if i cant hide the breasts and the hips

im ok with being a woman...finally

i just had to admit to myself that i loved women...and that is ok...

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oh...my mom she called me "self indulgent" and said "who are you trying to shock?"

ah well...its ok...my friends love it...and my dad is grinning...

and im proud...if not totally out and loud!

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I think when I came home that time with two sides of my head shaved...mother went with the flow...for a bit....father...I wasn't too sure what he was thinking....all I know is that he didn't want to see any photo's of my head in that state when it grew back. The parents well...mom knows that I fancy the smooth skinned lad, father....I REALLY don't know what he knows about anything that I do....haha.

So it "seems" ok....I think my parents rather not come face to face with me....about the subject. It works for me. X)

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