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Ok, Ladies...what Is Up With All These Women On Here Who Seem To Think Relationships Are All About Sex?!

ok...ladies...what is up with all the women on here who seem to think relationships are all about sex? i am 27...so i guess i should understand and be "cool with it"...but this attitude is appalling! to those who fit the bill...this is why you are still single! and for those who dont and dont really care to...dont settle for this crap... dont let anyone rush you into anything you are uncomfortable with or unsure of or not really ready for...its ok to be 18 and still a virgin...which is such a controversial word anyway...actually until two years ago, i had never been in any form of 'consenting' relationship...and i am now 27...i wish someone had told me this, before that first "girlfriend", but there is so much pressure on women to "let loose" and "live a little" and "just do it".I sadly was not immune...even though i held true to myself longer than most... dont let anyone make you feel bad about needing to go slow...and honey...if she leaves you, because you wont give her your body when she demands it...well you are lucky...and she isnt worth crying over...and she never really loved YOU... its so easy,in todays society,to confuse physical intimacy with love...i think everybody does it at one point or another...my god!its all over the media! from the time we are tiny tots...we are inundated with images of what a "real" woman should be... no one of us is immune...its sad and sick...that we have to feel inadequate before we really can even begin to form our own ideas of ourselves... and labels...a word on those...i have never met anyone who fit any label(whether they chose it or not) perfectly... labels are damaging...they box us in and prevent us from realizing our full potential... my biggest bone to pick is over the word "stone" that is so often used among lesbians... i have been called this too...and many people pass me up because of it...not that i ever called myself such...case in point, i am not "stone" or "wooden" or "less-than-woman" because i dont want you to hug me, and just because, at this point, i am unwilling to let anyone touch me...does NOT mean i dont have feelings and does NOT mean i dont care, or that im not interested in you, and does NOT mean that i will never be ok with intimacy...i am very much willing to adapt and learn and experience anything and everything in due time, with someone right...when im ready and on my terms...it just means that right now, i am being true to myself, being good to myself, accepting myself where i am ...knowing my current limitations and not being detrimental to me or anyone else...and not willing to unintentionally deceive people who might assume im ready for more... but i still crave acceptance and need respect...after all i am human and woman... so, if you are on here looking for a one night stand, or even a long term relationship founded SOLELY on physical intimacy...good luck...there is nothing wrong with you...just maybe...you need to reevaluate your priorities... if you wonder why your flings dont last...or if your unhappy with the way people relate to you? but if indeed you are satisfied...well...kudos to you...and good for you for being true to YOUrself...im not intending to shame or degrade anyone...just maybe? seek like minded understanding people...and maybe? give a little hope to any girl or woman in a similar situation...and maybe? start an intelligent conversation about what love means...and maybe find a good woman who will love me for me...as i learn and grow and change and trust. so...in conclusion...no matter how "steamy" your private life may be, you are setting yourself up for a falling out...if your relationship is not first and foremost based on friendship and respect and mutual concern for each others well being... honestly...ive heard of couples going years without sex...and its not that they dont love each other...in all relationships there is a wax and wane...and no two people have the same drives, that being said...couples that last respect these differences, and sometimes going without...can make it all the more wonderful when two people agree to come together in that way...i can only hypothesize about the latter, but it seems to be valid conclusion to me...anyway...

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Interesting read! I must say I agree. Sex is great,but,it's only a small part of a relationship, so many other things hold more importance to me too. Kudos to you for being so in touch with yourself!!

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Amen!!!

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All joking aside, I agree that sex should not be the sole foundation of a relationship. There are more important things that should be such as trust, communication, honesty, etc. I personally don't see how someone can have a long and fulfilling relationship just based on sex, but to each their own.

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It great that you're so passionate about your belief of sex!  I totally agree with what you're saying. I think the budu is sacred and should be shared with someone who lives and respects it yet I'm aware that some don't quite see it that way. It's more of a sport, challenge or activity of pleasure to them. 

I respect myself and my body isn't meant to be shared like it has little or no value. 

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Lol... I'm sorry i saw the views on this thread and then the replies... 880 views... 4 replies.  

Shy ladies? :) Well... I personally put sex  at number 3 on my list of important must haves' when it comes to relationships. Number 1... Honesty/ Truthfulness. I think if you have those 2... then you're off to a pretty good start. 

 

I know... I left out number 2.  ;) 

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My opinion is communication the most important 

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Let's not kid ourselves - sex IS an important part of any romantic relationship. Is it the MOST important part? Not even close. Should our relationships be centered around it? Of course not. Should we be jumping into bed 30 minutes after we meet in order to gage our compatibility? Only if the intent is a one night stand.

The point at which you choose to share your body with another is a highly personal decision. I don't believe that the person who decides to sleep with someone early in their relationship necessarily has less respect for herself than the person who waits. Sex isn't always a deeply emotional connection or expression of love. Sometimes it's nothing more than a physical release that happens to feel really good. Sharing your body doesn't have to mean giving away a piece of your heart.

Some people need the relationship to be firmly established before they entertain any ideas of intimacy. Nothing wrong with that. For others it's the intimacy itself that establishes the relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. And yes, some people do treat it like a sport or challenge. That's really not my thing but I don't see anything wrong with that either as long as both parties are aware of the game.

You are the only one who can say what is right for you.

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there's no one size fits all.  some of us have had many partners, and have had casual sex without love or any other strings attached... but that doesn't mean that it's all there is to a relationship when we're in one.  if sex is important to someone, what's wrong with being open about it?  i personally get kind of tired of the whole "anyone who can enjoy sex outside of a monogamous loving relationship is shallow" thing.  We're not all wired the same.

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