It seems like I am the only one like me sometimes... I feel so alienated...
I'll boldly flirt, discretely... then regret not being bolder... I am so frustrated with myself! My family knew I was a lesbian before I did... (I knew I loved how women looked, I took up art because our beauty inspires me -even inspired beautiful poetry and songs from me), and they would joke and jeer at my expense so of course, I shunned it all... but really. I use to get straightforward women come up to me (at the time I'd get so scared and nervous I'd deny, tho there's been two that had fun with me), and now that I've realized what I want, nothing.
*TALK ABOUT BEATING YOUR HEAD ON THE WALL!!*
So, I'm taking it with a grain of salt... squirt of lime.... shot of tequila..... whatevz *shrug*
Am I alone?! I feel like it! I can't stand society today! ...and yet... it's a blessing... I told my son, "If you have a boyfriend (mid one of our deep conversations) I will still love you with all my heart, I just want you to be happy with your life honey." So, it's not all bad right? I've learned...(or have I from this?) that constricting some one to your set of moral is so wrong. We're not made the same... and is it any wonder?? We come from different lands... different experiences.... I don't know... I feel like looking for love is hopeless anymore. I know it takes time... but if I were straight, I'd have SO many options (I can't stand men...that are into me...gay and just friendly are fine... just me again, right? They disgust me with their tactics, views, etc.). I'd be able to get to know people super fast... I just wish that it was this easy being "gay".
I want to boldly approach a woman I find attractive and flirt with her. I want to give her my number and have her over, and over, and over.
I don't want to feel shame. I don't want to wonder if she likes me too.
I want freedom.... to just be me.
So, now I think I'll be that bold woman. If I get rejected, whatev! They'll have something to brag about, right? ^_-
This IS my life. I'm going for it! I'm going to put my heart out there every time, and if it's rejected, I won't let it fall to shatter. I'll hold on to it for next time.
Wish me luck! ^_-
I'm going to post all my good and bad here about it... let's see how I fare. *fingerscrossed*
Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!
2 replies to this topic
I think you have the right approach of just being yourself and being open and honest. There's people who hide behind fear and shame and wind up regretting it. So kudos to you for doing what you feel is right. Wishing you the best of luck.
Lornana hi there. I love your enthusiasm. That's very attractive. What state are you in? I'm in western MA. If you're close, I'd love to hook up with you. Let me know.
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