Peiton

Coming Out As Gender Fluid/queer

Hey folks,

So here's the thing, I'm pansexual, came out as that when I was like 19 so most people who know me well know that my sexuality is all inclusive. However, I recently discovered the term of gender fluidity. I really think I identify as gender fluid, and it fits me really well as far as labels go. (Though I don't like labels, when people ask I at least have something to say so they don't flip total shit from my not conforming to social norm)

I have come out to a select few people, mainly my best friends and girlfriend. It's not too big a deal with them, but I'm just wondering how I should try to explain or define this when coming out more openly. Should I give my personal definition, but just water it down a bit so they're able to grasp the concept, or what?

I'd like to eventually tell my family cause they don't know, and I don't think they'd like it, though they'd more or less accept it because they love me, but I'd like to put it into words which they could understand (I guess, use laymen's terms?) because they aren't really concerned much with LGBT+ issues. They know I'm big into activism for it, but they'd prefer not to talk about it if they don't have to.

Point being, how does one come out as gender queer/fluid? Have any of you came out as someone with a non-binary gender identity? If so could you give me any advice on this? It'd be greatly appreciated! 

Thanks,

P.

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I identified as genderfluid for a while, before I got more comfortable with myself and realised I was trans. I don't think there's anything you particularly need to do to come out - just tell people. Be prepared to explain yourself a lot!

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Hi Peiton,

In my case, I thought I was 100% TS for past 30+ years, even had all the counselling and was diagnosed that way.

But after seeing a new counsellor recently, a lot of stuff came up and we both came to same conclusion that I'm GenderFluid/BiGender.

I would say best way to explain it to someone that has no idea about it at all is this way.

If say your mum bakes for example.

Say most times mum,  if apple pie was my favorite desert then I'd try to be apple pie all the time, but now and then I just have to try that pie with a different flavour and filling, I might binge on it for a while but then I go back to enjoying my apple pie again.

Just take something that relates to them, and compare it as simply as you can.

Then leave it at that till they get curious enough to ask you more, then thats your opportunity to go more indepth with it all, as once curious they'll be much more open to listen and digest it.

All the best for when you do tell them, hope it all goes well for you.

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I am openly gender fluid though I primarily  identify as female. Even in those periods of time I am feeling more masculine  I stick to my female  pronouns for simplicity. My folks are really conservative  and lgbt-phobic, they often mock issues etc in my presence  and are teaching my youngest sibling (she's nine)  to do the same. So to make dealing with ignorant people  easier I keep my female  pronouns even when I feel completely  male. Do what's easiest  for you.

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I am genderqueer and have explained to people that, while I do ID as trans,  I'm not ftm, I'm neutrois. Their reaction is usually "new-wha?"  If you are identifying outside the traditional gender binary, be prepared to do some educating and be patient.  You'll have to explain terms and new language that people aren't used to. I've found, though, that the most surprising folks will be receptive.

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