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jroqk

Notorious Flirt Reform?

I wonder can someone who is a notorious flirt change? Its just natural and i would like to tame it if at all possible.

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We're wondering WHY you think you should change? You say it's natural to you, so . . . ???

Lots of friendly women we've met have a seemingly innate tendency to flirt with LOTS of people, that they LIKE, anyway. It's like how they embrace and welcome new people into their circle. Sorta, "Hey! You're cool and intelligent and awesome! Let's be buds!" And it's kinda flirty and huggy and a bit physical, but just generally full-body huggy and totally welcoming and friendly. Never so much with the overtly sexy, at least, not right away and/or until that relationship progresses into something more.

Other peeps (and yeah, I guess a bit sexist here, but with us we're mostly thinking of men) get up in your personal space way too soon and seem to OVERTLY stare at your bodily parts with an "I'm thinking of getting in your pants" vibe. Like, WAY too soon. Nothing wrong with wanting to get in someone's pants overall, but like . . . let's be a social human about it TOO, alrighty? And get some social cues from the other person that they're actually enjoying your overall presence FIRST before you creep up into something closer.

So yeah, there are different sorts of flirting. And whether or not you're even trying to read the other person or even care what they think before you flirt further.

ALSO, there's the question of WHO you're flirting with.

A lot of peeps might be fair game if you're doing just the totally friendly thing, but maybe not even that if you work with them. That could be inappropriate. In some cases, legally actionable.

Or if they're already with someone, especially someone you know, especially if that someone is there too, and you flirt with them a LOT. They might think you're trying to get with their date. And that could step on some feelings.

So really . . . why kill the flirt? There's probably more to this story . . . yes? ;)

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We're wondering WHY you think you should change? You say it's natural to you, so . . . ???

Lots of friendly women we've met have a seemingly innate tendency to flirt with LOTS of people, that they LIKE, anyway. It's like how they embrace and welcome new people into their circle. Sorta, "Hey! You're cool and intelligent and awesome! Let's be buds!" And it's kinda flirty and huggy and a bit physical, but just generally full-body huggy and totally welcoming and friendly. Never so much with the overtly sexy, at least, not right away and/or until that relationship progresses into something more.

Other peeps (and yeah, I guess a bit sexist here, but with us we're mostly thinking of men) get up in your personal space way too soon and seem to OVERTLY stare at your bodily parts with an "I'm thinking of getting in your pants" vibe. Like, WAY too soon. Nothing wrong with wanting to get in someone's pants overall, but like . . . let's be a social human about it TOO, alrighty? And get some social cues from the other person that they're actually enjoying your overall presence FIRST before you creep up into something closer.

So yeah, there are different sorts of flirting. And whether or not you're even trying to read the other person or even care what they think before you flirt further.

ALSO, there's the question of WHO you're flirting with.

A lot of peeps might be fair game if you're doing just the totally friendly thing, but maybe not even that if you work with them. That could be inappropriate. In some cases, legally actionable.

Or if they're already with someone, especially someone you know, especially if that someone is there too, and you flirt with them a LOT. They might think you're trying to get with their date. And that could step on some feelings.

So really . . . why kill the flirt? There's probably more to this story . . . yes? ;)

I agree. There has to be more to this. I don't believe you are talking about being super friendly. Is this in the confines of a relationship and if you see someone you find attractive, you can't help but ogle? Or do you find your friends being turned off by an overzealous hugger? These two examples are two different scenarios in which flirting like behaviour can occur.

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