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Does Assertiveness = Butch?

I would like to consider myself a lady, but more often than not i come off as assertive or perhaps even aggressive. well that is what i have been told. I am as soft and gentle as they come, but i will admit that i am quite forward. i do not see a point in beating around any bushes. i am to the point and direct. my appearance as all woman but since i am assertive does that mean im a Butch????? i am perplexed...... does it matter that i look girly but have a mouth like a sailor sometimes and that if i want to hook up with a woman i tell her my intentions up front... does that make me bad. i do not like to morph my personalityso i can fit into a narrow category of what i should be expected to act like... what is a girl to do....... 

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We're in the same boat. Anyone have an answer?

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This is a shorter answer than this topic probably deserves, but anyone that feels that femme/feminine/womanly/woman/lady/girlish/ladylike can't possibly ALSO = forward/aggressive/assertive/direct/to the point . . . is a misogynist.

Think about it.

If you DON'T really think that, you must then logically imagine that any aspect of femininity means the person expressing that shouldn't ask for what they want in the world. And shouldn't try to do what they reasonably can to get it.

How could that NOT be misogynist?

Masculine persons should have goals and desires that they pursue, but feminine persons should not?

No one that isn't a woman/femme hater would buy into that.

If you've found someone that is that hateful toward femininity, I would give them a pass. No matter what they think about you otherwise.

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no. butch/femme refers to physicality (and sometimes some level of gender identity), not personality traits. there's nothing about lipstick and dangly earrings that means you have to be demure; and pencil skirts are not for damsels. strong femmes are swoonworthy, so wear it with pride.

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Love, love, love feminine women who possess a lot of masculine energy.  I used to equate outer appearance with level of femininity/masculinity. I recently met a really cute butch woman who turned out to be super passive. Like, painfully passive ... And submissive. So, I've learned to be specific about my preferences and expectations... Most importantly, I no longer make assumptions.

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And here I am labeled by society as either butch or soft butch and I am as shy and gentle and a bit over sensitive as someone can get!! Hahaha

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The whole perception thing the lgbt community has adapted is quite infantile to me! It's as simple as you like who you like! That's it! Period! 

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One does not need to fit into a category.  I certainly don't choose a persona... I just am! 

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Dell said:

One does not need to fit into a category.  I certainly don't choose a persona... I just am! 

I agree !!

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That's just your personality :) , your just stating what you would like upfront with no hidden agendas. If someone is tossing the word butch at you they haven't met alot of butch people. Personally I think some people are just trying to understand and some people try too stick people in a category to make themselves feel more comfortable. Example... Oh shes butch that explains why shes not attracted to all this... Vs  Shes a nice person and attractive but I am not her type.

Lots of people lots of personalities.. Lots of soft or emotional butches that cuddle up like a puppy at night.. and lots off femme.. that  want to tie you up and have their way with you.. Fun is in the mystery behind person.. number.. :D

Be you, enjoy yourself you are a unique person.

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