Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
Isha

Admitting That I Am Indeed A Lesbian

I discovered I was bisexual when I was 15 with my first sexual experience with a female. I labeled it bisexual as I was compelled to follow the mold of "girl meets boy, girl and boy fall in love" or to at least keep that road open. The failing of each of my relationships and affairs with mostly men and a handful of women guided me to see myself in a raw and personal way. It led me to discovery of the orgasm, and the fact that I didn't need or want a man present to make that happen. I realized how easily I fooled myself into falling in love with men by trying to be "normal." I thought that I couldn't be attractive or happy without the attention of a man. I hid behind bisexuality because being gay was uncharted territory for me. I knew how it was supposed to go between a man and woman based on disney movies, barbie dolls, all that stuff. But for the short time I had barbie dolls, I enjoyed pairing up the women. It was always more exciting than barbie and ken.

So now I'm in the process of exiting the closet. I suppose I was halfway out when I came out bi, so now I'm just shutting the door...? I'm enjoying this feeling of liberation privately so that I'm fully used to this identity by the time I tell my friends and family. Outfest is coming up next month in Philly, so that seems like the perfect opportunity to celebrate being gay. I've struggled with my sexuality for a very long time. I wanted to please others so much that I forgot how to please myself. Now that I'm settled into my own skin, I see the world in a better, clearer way. My days are brighter, my mood is very good, I'm optimistic, and I'm so proud to be a woman.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post

That was a very reflective post. Congratulations on being who you are and realizing your happiness is more important than pleasing others.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post

We had a similar story. It is very hard and finally coming to terms with life. Being happy with yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post

I think I'm living that story right now. I can identify. I'm glad you found your way through! :animier: go you!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post

Thanks for the encouraging words!!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0