I guess in the distant past, this might have been referred to as Drama Queens. But in my more recent long term relationship, I discovered that even beyond the drama, even after years of processing deep core issues with my partner, I have discovered that at the tail end, it is still all about her.
For years and years, I could not figure out how we could talk and talk and talk about the deep core issues and she could not get over what some people might view as somewhat trivial material. It was as-if she could not move on from the small stuff. We broke up, me thinking that she could eventually heal herself by living alone, and we remained friends. However, she wanted to maintain and intimate relationship but with no strings attatched.
Three years later, after all has been said and done, sleeping with her, not dating anyone else, I am concluding that she does not care that I am single, that she calls me up to sleep with me, that she wants me to help her financially, that she can do and say what she wants and I am just supposed to process it with her. Please do not think I am merely accomodating. I put my foot down and a hundred things but every once in awhile, she would get into a pinch and I would help her. She got herself fired from her job of three years because of her manipulative behaviors. She has lost friends. I thought she would wake up and get the point.
We have gone in circles. I read material on Narcissism which fits her perfectly. She read it too. That was three years ago. I have told her that I was sad to think that she might be psychotic or have multiple personalities. I mean, I have taken that woman down to the mat and really helf her accountable for all of her emotional manipulations. I know I am the best friend she has ever had because she is so good at being manipulative that she either gets away with it or it takes some time for new friends to run away. I really felt that her trust in me would help her to clarify that she needed to make changes in herself.
I have to say this because it is so funny. So, I was over at her apartment a month ago. She wanted me to watch a netflix series that is a reality tv show about this wealthy woman and her daughters. I do not have tv so I cannot recall their names but I know that they are famous for this show. I had never seen it before. Oh, yeah, Cardashians. So... we are watching the show and she tells me, "If my mom and dad not get divorced, me and my sister would be like the Cardashians..." She grew up in Europe where there is a cultural difference.
Basically, she went on to explain to me that she wants to move to L.A. so she can learn how to cut her teeth with the wealthy and elite and then go back to New York where she was living before she met me.
She has said the most craziest things like that and I cannot belive that she is even thinking these thoughts. I have never met someone so Narcissasistic in my life. One would think that I am crazy for being with her. On one hand, she seems to have a heart. On the other, there is no heart.
Having gone to my wits end with this woman, I am leaving 8 years of monogamous emotional manipulation behind me. All the tears are behind me. I already processed the Verbal Abuse that came with all of her emotional control games. I wish I was younger so I could be this wise and be forewarned. Hindsight is... all that.
Now, I am so armed with awareness of games of so many sorts that I am not sure how I am going to be attracted to anyone. The emotional manipulations that I have been through have really tested my metal but I am also finally done with any type of emotional drama whatsoever. I do not know how I am going to have any compassion for anyone else. Things happen in life. People have died in my family and friends have loved ones passing through old age and health issues too. I guess, I am going to have to learn to weigh out the emotional issues at hand before I allow myself to feel empathic.
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