Mariewillie

Gay phobia in your city?

Hello all!  I am in Grand Rapids, MI which has very little lesbian meet & greet capabilities. I am 64 yrs old (not dead yet lol) and find it so hard to believe that in this day and age that there are still cities and/or states that still make it impossible for lesbians to come out in public freely. Only two bars in town but both cater to the guys and aren't in the best part of town (go figure huh?) So let me know what city & state you are from and how easy it is for you to be "out".

Signed

Marie (a/k/a Lonely in Grand Rapids, MI)

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Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas. Very comfortable being out, here. Dallas has a sizable gay neighborhood, with clubs and bars but also restaurants and shopping, though it isn't necessary to go to Oak Lawn (the gayborhood) to feel comfortable. The happiest place I ever lived was in one of Fort Worth's historic districts. Fort Worth has a couple of gay bars (both dives) and I'm not really into the club scene anyhow; but it's wonderfully integrated. My neighborhood was safe and pretty; and the gay families fit in with the straight families (and one transgendered lady who loved to bike around the neighborhood and chat with everyone). The whole city was like that. I held hands with the woman I loved whether we were at a museum or the grocery store or out for dinner. Judging by the state legislature, I'm guessing the rural areas are likely different; but DFW is warm and welcoming (or totally indifferent, depending upon the company you're in). The only homophobia I had to deal with was from my extended family and a few clients, when I was in my very late teens and early twenties, fifteen plus years ago. I did live in Austin from 2006 to 2008, and that was less gay friendly. It was never anything anyone said; but I would get odd looks, when I came out, and then people would either become awkward around me or try to make me their gay mascot. It was uncomfortable. I much prefer north Texas.

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thank you Dani28 for your information on Dallas/Ft Worth! Sounds like a place I need to put on my list of cities to visit in the future.

 

Marie

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Hi. I'm from a town called Stoke on Trent in England. Used to be famous for our pottery (until that got closed). We neither have a good nor bad community for us gays. There are only 2 gay bars around where you find mainly straights who want to go out and not get bothered by men but then have a problem with seeing 2 women holding hands or 2 men holding hands in public. Here it all depends on weather you care enough that people are staring right at you for holding the hand of the person you love. Me personally I do not care. If I want to hold the hand of the person I love in public I shall do that but some people are scared.

I lost friends and family when I came out as lesbian but it's their loss as I have a great support of people behind me but can be frustrating when I get things like ''You don't look gay so your not gay'' and ''thought you were brought up straight, how did you end up like THAT?'' but I suppose you could get that anywhere you go?! I like to travel when I can and I have found that there are places around me that do not accept gays but on the other hand I have seen areas like Birmingham, Manchester and London welcome gays with open arms as these are the areas that hold Gay Pride. Stoke on Trent have had pride but only for a couple of years (In which is on 16th July where I am attending)

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Hiya  :)

You should come to Brighton for the pride , its a amazing place to be , I myself live near Portsmouth and like you the gay pubs is few and far between , I have to go to Brighton for a night out , I am out to a few as not long left my hubby but he and my girls were so understanding  .

As for holding hands ....why not

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I'm in a small town in VA-Abingdon (regularly nominated as one of the coolest small towns in America!).  I'm out as trans (neutrois) to EVERYONE and haven't had any problems. At the library where I work, two of the employees (I and a guy) are queer and totally out. The Barter Theater (THE State theater of VA) held a showing of a play and a reception afterwards last year for the LGBTQA community. There's no place to meet anyone in town, though. No bars (no bars of any kind, gay or het). Lots of great free music venues, though-fests and other events. I get more grief for being atheist than being queer. Mostly even that's not too bad, just people telling me they're praying for me, etc., though I'll have the occasional thumper semi-scream that I'm gonna burn in hell. 

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thanks for the info. I have a friend from Seattle that isn't gay but told me how open the city is to gays.

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