Does Assertiveness = Butch?

[lesbotronic]

(These words replace this thread-originating post authored by a now no longer active member.  She asked if assertiveness in a lesbian necessarily made her butch.)

[lesbotronic]

This is a shorter answer than this topic probably deserves, but anyone that feels that femme/feminine/woman/womanly/girl/girlish/lady/ladylike can't possibly ALSO = forward/aggressive/assertive/direct/to the point . . . is a misogynist.

Think about it.

If you DON'T really think that, you must then logically imagine that any aspect of femininity means the person expressing that shouldn't ask for what they want in the world. And shouldn't try to do what they reasonably can to get it.

How could that NOT be misogynist?

Masculine persons should have goals and desires that they pursue, but feminine persons should not?

No one that isn't a woman/femme hater would buy into that.

If you've found someone who is that hateful toward femininity, I would give them a pass. No matter what they think about you otherwise.

[Dani28]

no. butch/femme refers to physicality (and sometimes some level of gender identity), not personality traits. there's nothing about lipstick and dangly earrings that means you have to be demure; and pencil skirts are not for damsels. strong femmes are swoonworthy, so wear it with pride.

[Sicca]

Love, love, love feminine women who possess a lot of masculine energy.  I used to equate outer appearance with level of femininity/masculinity. I recently met a really cute butch woman who turned out to be super passive. Like, painfully passive ... And submissive. So, I've learned to be specific about my preferences and expectations... Most importantly, I no longer make assumptions.

[Dell]

The whole perception thing the lgbt community has adapted is quite infantile to me! It's as simple as you like who you like! That's it! Period! 

[Dell]

One does not need to fit into a category.  I certainly don't choose a persona... I just am!